Last summer I was able to attend a singles conference in IN with WIT. I was unhappy and unsatisfied with my spiritual life and looking for renewal. I was not expecting what God would show me. Fall 2011 I attended a Journey to the Heart conference. During one if my quiet times God brought to mind my salvation at age 8. I dismissed that I couldn't remember many of the details of that night. That night was what I staked my salvation on. I had a period during my early teen years that I had doubted my salvation but heard some teaching that if you had an event that you could “stake your flag”, you could always remind Satan of that if he ever caused you to doubt. So that was how I had dealt with my doubts. During the singles weekend God began showing me that I might be wrong. My table leader shared her experience of being saved as an adult after growing up as a pastor's daughter and thinking she was saved. It seemed to be a key point of every table discussion that we had and it was starting to make me made. My thought was "the purpose of this conference is to help singles grow in their relationship, not discuss salvation all the time". The more she shared her burden for others like her, the more God began softening my heart. I'll admit I was scared about what He was making clearer. But I wasn’t sure if I was even willing to let Him reveal to me what He desired. Thankfully I had a very wise table leader who encouraged me to spend some time allowing Him to speak to me. So I decided to get away for a while and quiet my thoughts so I could listen. In the quiet and cool of my car (the a/c at Verity was broken!) I trusted Christ as my Savior, with no doubts that it was finally settled. So my relationship with Christ was more then renewed, it was started. What began as frustration at trying to check all the "boxes" on the list of things Christians should do, lead me to a while new spiritual life. The past 18 months has been about learning what a relationship with Christ really is and what develops in a persons life because of it. There aren't any boxes to check to determine spirituality. The fruits of our salvation become evident because of it's root- a love for our Savior.

A New Year, A New Direction

2012 will be a fresh start for me. After so many start/stops in my life, I'm putting another foot forward with confidence and prayer. Last year was rough for me and so I've made decisions for change this year and I can already see the transformation in progress. My brother left early this morning from his Christmas break and I am off work for the next 5 days. I decided to take this time off so I can get my life in order for the rest of the year. I have my budget to make out, my list of goals for the year, financial review from last year as well as planning for the year. Although I'd rather be out in the woods or by the beach for the rest of the week, but I'm at home. This means I have a few hurdles to face in order to complete this week. But I know God's grace will carry me through.

Hugs & Prayers

Returning to real life

This blog is about to take a new direction. But let me give you some back story first.

Last week I returned from a ten day trip called Journey To The Heart. It is a retreat where attendees set aside the distractions of life to focus on pursuing God. Although I wasn't thrilled with the idea and short notice my mother gave me (it required me having to find coworkers to cover the shifts I would be missing and having to find a flight two weeks prior to leaving). I had finished university the week prior so that was one less thing on my plate and my mother had wanted me to attend for several years. I had always managed to be working and in school and never had the opportunity. But I was also ready for a trip somewhere and decided it couldn't be too bad.

I was truly amazed at how life changing it was. This is one of only a few things that I would thoroughly recommend to any person.

As a result of this journey, this blog will recount those lessons that God showed me as I sought to truly pursue Him.

Making a change

We have a young man in our church who is interning with Pastor for the summer. As a Bible major, he is preparing to be a preacher one day. Last Wed. night he brought the message. Although he had no formal outline he shared what he had been learning over the past few months from Ps. 119:9-16.

⁹Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.

¹⁰With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments.

¹¹Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

¹²Blessed art thou, O LORD: teach me thy statutes.

¹³With my lips have I declared all the judgments of thy mouth.

¹⁴I have rejoiced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches.

¹⁵I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways.

¹⁶I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word.

What he shared was his experience of learning to draw closer to God. Having been raised in a Christian family, he had known all the correct things to do, but hadn't allowed them to change his life. But for the past few months he began to immerse himself in Scriptures, allowing it to change him and learning to truly love the Word.

His testimony deeply impacted me because I had been living much the same way for most of my life. I went through phases of trying to get my life on track but nothing ever seemed to stick. That's why I started the Journey, as a way to let God change my life. It certainly hasn't been easy, but like our preacher-boy, I'm learning. Its a daily process of making the decision to allow God to change me.

Kept

I came across this today as I was going through my old emails. A friend sent it to me last year and I thought it was so good it deserved to be my second post of the day!

A Kept Woman               I Am a 'Kept' Woman You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind, But GOD keptme sane. (Isa. 26:3) There were times when I thought I could go no longer, But the LORD keptme moving. (Gen 28:15) At times, I've wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had done me wrong, But the LORD keptmy mouth shut... (Psa. 13) Sometimes, I think the money just isn't enough, But GOD has helped me to keepthe lights on, the water on, the car paid, the house paid, etc.. (Matt. 6:25-34) When I thought I would fall, HE keptme up. When I thought I was weak, HE keptme strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt.11:28-30)  I could go on and on and on, but I'm sure you hear me! I'm blessed to be 'kept' Do you know a 'kept' woman? If so pass it on to her to let her know she is 'Kept' I'm "Kept"by the Love and Grace of God

the workplace

FYI this post has been in drafts since mid April!
I've had mixed feelings about my job from day 1. While I love being a nurse, there is a lot of drama and chaos that I'd rather not deal with. This usually happens to come from coworkers and patient family members. In the nine months I've been there I can count on one hand the number of patients that have been difficult, and some was due to dementia. The most memorable case though the patient appalogized to me later for being rude. But the work drama has started to wear on me. I did go through a rough patch around the holidays in which I was extremely close to quitting. I've gotten over all that as things don't seem to be quite as crazy. But I still don't feel content at work for the most part. It's a feeling I've tried to shake off but it never seems to go away. And it's slowly started to eat away at me.

Happy Birthday To Me!!

So it's my birthday today...yeah me! I'm turning 24 in exactly one hour. Although I've had many dreams for my life, I never thought I'd be sitting her at this point with my life the way it is. For many years I thought I'd be married by now, after all, most of my friends are. Or at least in a relationship. But God has other plans, the specifics which I am not entirely clear about. But I'm content to wait on His time for everything.
You might now about my involvement with STEP (Skills Training for Emergency Preparedness), a four week girls camp in TX. For the past several years, it has been a big part of my summer. I was a student in 2006, a team leader in 2007, and a group leader in 2009 and 2010. THis year I won't be able to take part in the same capacity. My BSN classes will not finish until Aug. so that will take up a deal of my time. Recently however the coordinator, a fellow student from 2006, asked me and my sister about teaching the class on sibling relationships. It wasn't something that I had considered before (I have been looking into becoming a first-aid/CPR instructor) and at first I wasn't so sure about it. But it seems that maybe God is opening this door to be a part of STEP despite my classes.
So although I'm not sure how it will all work out, I'm going to see what God does. He has given me a few ideas already- turned out to be stick figure drawings!

so back to my birthday! I was able to sleep in late this morning, which actually happens most everyday, so nothing special there. But then I went to get my haircut. My sister started at a new salon so she booked me in. Then I went for Starbucks! Back to the salon for my makeover and picked up a few products. My dad surprised my by bringing me roses- gorgeous coral/yellow ones (which I can dry and add to my bouquet from the wedding!). And now I'm sitting in the bookstore doing some emails and updating my blog! When my sister gets off, us and dad are going out to the driving range for a bit. Then mum has a special dessert event planned!

I don't buy books very often (unless they are for school!) but I got myself a birthday present.
~ Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
The story is based on the book of Hosea but set in 1850 California. It had been recommended by several friends and I finally bought it. Of course it was 50% off plus my member 10% discount!
Redeeming Love